Sacrificial Cost

Luke 8:26-39 tells the story of the man from Gadera who was possessed with a legion of demons. You can read it below to remind yourself of the details.

Then they sailed to the country of the Gadarenes, which is opposite Galilee. When Jesus had stepped out on land, there met him a man from the city who had demons. For a long time he had worn no clothes, and he had not lived in a house but among the tombs. When he saw Jesus, he cried out and fell down before him and said with a loud voice, “What have you to do with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg you, do not torment me.” For he had commanded the unclean spirit to come out of the man. (For many a time it had seized him. He was kept under guard and bound with chains and shackles, but he would break the bonds and be driven by the demon into the desert.) Jesus then asked him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Legion,” for many demons had entered him. And they begged him not to command them to depart into the abyss. Now a large herd of pigs was feeding there on the hillside, and they begged him to let them enter these. So he gave them permission. Then the demons came out of the man and entered the pigs, and the herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and drowned.

When the herdsmen saw what had happened, they fled and told it in the city and in the country. Then people went out to see what had happened, and they came to Jesus and found the man from whom the demons had gone, sitting at the feet of Jesus, clothed and in his right mind, and they were afraid. And those who had seen it told them how the demon-possessed man had been healed. Then all the people of the surrounding country of the Gadarenes asked him to depart from them, for they were seized with great fear. So he got into the boat and returned. The man from whom the demons had gone begged that he might be with him, but Jesus sent him away, saying, “Return to your home, and declare how much God has done for you.” And he went away, proclaiming throughout the whole city how much Jesus had done for him. (ESV)

As I read through this story recently, I was struck by the fact that despite the incredible gift of freedom Jesus gave to the possessed man, and indirectly to the town as well, they asked him to leave them.  In fact, it says they were 'seized with great fear'.  

Fear of what, I wonder? 

As I pondered, I believe that what they were afraid of was the cost, the sacrifice required to let Jesus into their town.  He'd only been there for 5 minutes when he cost them an entire herd of pigs.  What else would he pry from their tightly closed fists? They really didn't want to entertain the idea at all.  They never stopped to consider what they might have gained in return, instead, all they envisioned was the potential for greater loss.

Jesus performed an act that brought complete freedom to this man in a way that no one before had been able to do. Not only did he free the man himself, but the entire town was relieved of the heavy burden of having to deal with the man's destructive ways.  In addition, surely the man had a family and his family was now given great joy and hope in the return of a beloved son, or husband, and maybe father. To the town was returned one able-bodied, right-minded man who could now be a productive member of society.

But a herd of pigs was lost.

The townspeople weighed the cost of the man's and the town's freedom and considered the cost of that freedom too great, so they sent the Freedom-source packing.

Did any of them ever wonder what might have happened if instead, they'd invited him to stay and share His story with them? Did anyone regret that decision? What else might Jesus have done for that city if only he'd been invited?  

What had been the cost of sending him away?

Gadera's plight is not so different from our own.  Jesus told his disciples that they must count the cost of following Him. There should be no doubt that there is a cost. But isn't there also a reward?

It is true that Jesus will ask us to send some things that we hold dear straight over the cliff. But why would he do that?  The question is, do we trust him to direct us in ways that will bring the most freedom?  Yes, there is a sacrificial cost, but the sacrifice pays for something gained. Do you and I know what we are missing because we hold tightly to what we believe is our life?

Misunderstood

How many believers over the millenia have felt misunderstood by their fellow man? In particular, how often has that come at the hands of the Church itself? I'm no historian, but I believe that more people were likely martyred by the official Church than by non-believers. Perhaps somebody who knows the stats can correct me if I'm wrong, but from where I stand, it began with the crucifixion of Christ and it's been going strong ever since.

Well, actually, no, it began with Seth, moved to the prophets, on to Christ and since to various martyrs down through history.  Given that, we oughtn't to be surprised when we face it here.

In the American culture, where I live, it's not generally about life or death. That may be a benefit (or it may not be, I'm not always certain.) What we face here is typically more along the lines of a rejection of truth which our Savior leads us into.  When I've faced this experience, I can often end up devastated in spirit.  It is so disheartening to be misunderstood.

We feel judged unfairly.  We know that the people making the judgement don't actually understand us or what we are trying to do or say. But we must helplessly watch as people add more bricks to whatever walls keep us separated one from another.

The trouble with these kinds of walls is that they are literally unable to be penetrated without destruction of the wall itself.  The reason is that you can't see anything at all through them.

So what do you do when you see a wall going up between you and another person? You can try to meet them at the wall and begin dismantling it together. You can invite an open dialogue. You can try to listen carefully to their point of view.  You can invite them to listen to yours.  But in the end, if the wall keeps going up, you are left with only one option that is good.

You can relate to Jesus. 

Misunderstanding can be a place of communion. That may seem strange but consider this.  Jesus was the true Son of God, sent from Heaven to preach the good news.  And that is what He did.  But most people didn't understand Him.  That was especially true of the religious leaders of His day.  

These religious leaders were men of great Scriptural knowledge and experience.  They were the ones responsible for teaching the people about God. And yet they misunderstood God in the Flesh. These men looked to the Scriptures and somehow couldn't seem to find Jesus there at all.  

When Jesus came and taught, they completely misunderstood everything he said and did, even to the point of suggesting that He was demon possessed.  The Living Son of God was called demonic all because of misunderstanding.  They were expecting Him to behave in a certain way, do a certain thing, say a certain thing. When He failed to reveal himself in the way that they expected, their response was to reject Him.

I've been a bit of an unorthodox Christ follower myself and over the years have found myself feeling rejected because of misunderstanding as well.  During those times, I am drawn to passages like Luke 6:22-23 which says "Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets.

I am reminded that my Savior was misunderstood and so shall I be misunderstood. I've often wondered at times if I should be concerned when no one is misunderstanding me, so frequent was that response to the biblical followers of Christ.

Certainly that doesn't mean we ought not check ourselves if someone rejects our teaching, but if we go back to the Word and to Christ himself and find confirmed that which we've stood our ground on, we can remember that Jesus himself stood there before us and we can look to Him for comfort and for ultimate understanding of who we are and how we live.

The Fruit of My Labors

When you plant an apple tree, you are anticipating a harvest of apples at some future date.  You'll do certain things to ensure that this happens.  You'll dig a hole the right size, you'll add good things to the soil, you'll fertilize at the right times and in the the right amounts, you'll water at appropriate intervals, you'll prune and you'll watch to see the progress of your tree.  Then one day, you'll reap a harvest.

This can be used as an analogy for other activities as well.  For example, if you want a fresh baked loaf of bread, you'll gather flour, water, yeast and salt at a minimum and combine them in the right ratios, you'll mix and knead and let rise, you'll bake for the right amount of time. In the end, you'll reap a lovely browned perfectly baked loaf.  You'd never expect to get bread from combining sausage and onions.  You know that you have to add the right ingredients for the right outcome.

Character is the same way.

I recently came across this verse in my bible study time. 

For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit,  for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thorn-bushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. Luke 6:43-45

In particular, the last part of this passage grabbed my attention. The person produces based on what he has stored up in his heart.  Now, this verse may seem to be simplistic on first reading.  The reader may be inclined to think this is a black and white thing and that a person only produces good or evil.  I don't think that is the case at all, people are capable of producing both good and evil in the same moment.  But the thing that is important is that you will only produce what you have stored up.

Not only that, but in order to produce it, you had to first plant it and cultivate it, tend it and nurture it and finally, gather it and store it in order to ultimately produce something. 

So if I am producing patience, love, respect for people or a servants heart it is because I have planted and cultivated these things.  If I'm producing impatience, anxiety, anger, disdain, laziness etc, it is because I've planted, cultivated and am now harvesting these things.

So here is my job, I need to be a fruit inspector.  I need to evaluate what I am storing and what I am producing and recognizing how and when I planted for that particular harvest.  I then need to decide if my field should be plowed up and replanted or nurtured and tended for the next harvest.

The truth is that you and I ARE producing something.  We are never completely out of production, so WHAT is it that we are producing?

Catching My Breath

Lately, I feel a little like I'm running a marathon.  There has been a lot going on and I'm struggling to keep all the proverbial plates spinning.  

Truth, several plates have crashed into smithereens and now I have to get new plates and clean up the mess..........and set those plates spinning again!

Wait a minute!  Is that really true?  Do I have to do this? Do I really need to be part of the local circus, performing death defying acts to the applause of the mildly entertained crowd?

Sometimes, it is hard to know what I must do and what I can set aside until later. Much of American society lives according to the 'Tyranny of the Urgent'.  I'm not immune.

So what is the reality? How do I live in peace?  What does it look like to accomplish what is actually necessary and leave what is not?  And once I've gotten behind a bit, that task becomes far greater.

I'm going to go and ask the Master.

Matthew 6:33-34 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Philippians 4:4-9 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

John 14:26-27 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. 

1 Peter 5:6-7 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 

Let go of focusing on the things of this world. Worry is emotional atheism. It is acting as if God does not exist. - Harold Vaughan

"And whatsoever is not of faith is sin,” and SIN MUST BE CONFESSED! If we confess our distrust of God, unbelief, fear, emotional atheism, anxiety, worldly outlook, self-focus, self-absorption, then “God is faithful and just to forgive us. . . .” If you want to get right, you must get your sin out of sight! Jesus bore your “griefs and carried your sorrows.” Life is too short to worry yourself sick! Confessing (admitting) your worry as sin, puts you on the path to worry-free living. -- Harold Vaughan

I borrowed some ideas from the internet this go-round but I think you'll get the picture that if our trust isn't fully in Christ, even when the world around us appears to be spinning into a million pieces, we'll end up in a puddle of worry and anxiety.  

I think our Lord actually allows things around us to get out of control just so that we'll learn how to trust Him through it.  If yours fit's that description, look to Him and learn peace.

An Element of Surprise

After this he went out and saw a tax collector named Levi, sitting at the tax booth. And he said to him, “Follow me.” And leaving everything, he rose and followed him.

And Levi made him a great feast in his house, and there was a large company of tax collectors and others reclining at table with them. And the Pharisees and their scribes grumbled at his disciples, saying, “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?” And Jesus answered them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance. Luke 5:27-32

As Christians, we are most comfortable when things can be neatly categorized, boxed and shelved.  Jesus, on the other hand often surprises us with His approach. 

In Luke 5:27, we see Jesus springing a big surprise on the Pharisees when he casually enters the home of a notorious thief,........uh, tax collector, named Levi and sits down to enjoy dinner and conversation.

The religious leaders are scandalized, shocked even, when Jesus makes it clear that He is completely comfortable hanging out with a bunch of sinners.  If we are honest, many times, we don't look much like Jesus in this area. We get rather agitated around someone who cusses, drinks or parties too much.  Some of us might even have a sense that we've somehow been sullied simply through being with them.  

So why is Jesus so very comfortable in that setting when His followers are squirming in their chair?  Was he simply trying for shock value?  

Before he (very deliberately) did this, he'd been healing people and telling them not to let on to others about what had happened to them.  Again, a bit unexpected for him to not want his ministry successes publicized. Yet, he is clear that he's not interested in publicity as he repeats his directive to 'tell no one' again and again.

I've often thought, when reading the Word, that Jesus's words and actions were at times puzzling and sometimes downright weird.  As I've continued getting to know him, I've begun to realize that when his response seems odd to me, it's simply an indicator that I don't understand.  It's not an open door for me to try to justify what Jesus does so that it'll fit into my box, instead, it's on opportunity for me to let him show me something I didn't know before.

How many times have I been in a conversation with someone where they were angry at God because he didn't act the way they thought he should?  And yet I am just as guilty when I try to squeeze Jesus into my own image of what God is meant to be.

I think the bottom line is that I, as a follower of Jesus, need to spend a great deal more time following his lead and a lot less time trying to tell him how to do it better. The Pharisees were experts at telling God how it should be done, but that isn't how I want to be.  By His grace, I want to become more willing to be pleasantly surprised by what Jesus wants to do next.

On Remaining Hidden

I could easily have kept my story hidden, or only told the parts that others would have deemed acceptable to share. But then you'd never have known the real me, only a fictional woman you and I had created in your mind.

It is Truth that sets us free.

Don't make the mistake of thinking that this has been easy for me to share. I've wrestled with it for years. I've been keenly aware of the fact that some who read will judge me harshly. But I've also come to realize that my story isn't unusual at all.  There are MANY more stories 10x more heartbreaking than mine is.

The fact is, the kinds of things I have shared with you on the blog are as common as bread.  The only difference between my story and that of millions of others is that it is being told openly and without shame.  There is one reason for that.

Jesus.

More than likely you've heard phrases like 'He is the Reason' or 'Jesus is the Reason for the Season'.  Perhaps you've heard them and quickly moved on, having had some sort of negative encounter with Christianity in the past.  Or perhaps you are a well-acquainted follower of Christ and so when you hear them you say, 'I KNOW!!' in your mind.  Either way, you may not typically spend a lot of time deliberating over what that means exactly.  I'd like to take a moment to encourage you to consider what it means.

I am able to live as a reasonably healthy adult woman simply because Jesus took me and held me close.  Over the years, Jesus has held me while he pulled back layer upon layer of shame, rejection, pain, confusion, anger, resentment, pride and so many other things.  He's been so very patient with me.  So patient that today, when I've acted like an ass, (yes, I said ass and I am a Christian woman, both at the same time) I run to Him first to get myself set straight.

Living out in the open is living in the light of truth.  That truth allows me to relate to Jesus much like Adam and Eve did in the garden.  I can walk with Him unashamed, even when I have done or thought something that someone else might think I ought to be ashamed about.

Why?

Because I am 100% confident that Jesus loves me anyway.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that when he looks at me, he's not looking at my sin.  He's looking at me through a covering that He gave me which wipes every bad mark away as soon as it tries to mar my image.  He's looking at me through the covering of His blood which does a curious thing.  His blood actually washes a person as though it were water.  It doesn't make me red, it makes me pure white, holy and clean.

If you know the Lord, then perhaps you understand what I am saying, but if you don't follow Jesus, this may seem strange.  Here are the basic facts that you need to understand.

God loved the world sooooo much that He gave the life of His dear Son Jesus to the world to pay the ultimate price that He demands for sin. That price is death.  When Jesus died on a cross over 2000 years ago, it was a sacrifice meant to appease the one true God.

Many religions require blood sacrifices so perhaps you are familiar with the idea already, but the main point is that gods get angry in most religions and they can be unpredictable and demand blood to satisfy their anger. So people kill animals and other people to give the blood to the gods. (I don't believe that other gods are true gods, but many people do and so it's important to understand what they think about these things.)

But God, the Creator of the Universe, the One True God, isn't like that.  Instead, He provided His own sacrifice.  When people did what made Him angry, He loved them anyway and offered Himself, His very own Son, to die in our place.  Now, all we need to do is recognize that we all sin, or live a life that breaks God's commands and that we need a sacrifice to pay for that. If we don't give payment to God, then we can never be with Him because He is holy and can only be in the presence of holy things.  We then simply accept the gift that Jesus, God's Son gave us when He died on the Cross.  We believe He is who He says He is and we begin living our lives in gratitude to Him for what He's done. Our payment for sin is now applied to our account.

How does that change the way we live you may ask?  It begins by learning who God is through reading the bible, through spending time with other people who follow Jesus, known as Christians.  We begin running to Him each time we are in a situation where we don't know what to do or where we act sinfully.  He then begins patiently and gently peeling back the layers until finally, we live in the light I told you about earlier. We find out from Jesus that we don't need to hide our sin anymore, or any other part of us.

If you want to know more, please leave a comment and let me know how I can reach you.

This is the MOST IMPORTANT thing I will ever tell you on this blog, please don't ignore it. Please don't remain hidden.

Disconnected

With Mr. Handsome having to travel on business lately, I've had some time to reflect on the nature of our relationship. More specifically, I've been considering the effects of separation.  There's an old cliche that says one's marriage partner is one's 'better half'.

We're often tempted to dismiss cliches as being, well.......cliche. But don't be so quick to push this one aside. The Lord himself has said 'what God has joined together, let no man tear asunder.'(Mark 10:9) I'm betting He had a good reason for that statement and I believe I've gained a bit of insight as to at least one or two of them during our recent separation.

When Jeremy is away, I feel the separation in my spirit. My sense of purpose is diminished. Who else on this earth can I look at that understands me as he does? Who else can I sit with, saying nothing, and yet still know that we are together in a profound way. Who else will laugh at my witless humor in such an uproarious fashion. Who else keeps me grounded and accountable as he does?

It's the same when we stay apart from our heavenly bridegroom.

Jesus intends to walk with you and I through every single joy and trial and all the moments in between. There isn't one moment that He is willing to miss. He gives ultimate purpose to His bride, as well as ultimate understanding, ultimate companionship and ultimate accountability.

The good news is that Jesus never has to go away on business. He says 'I am with you ALWAYS.' And that is the truth. But sometimes, I am inclined to hide myself from him, forget him, disregard him or even at times resent him.

Isn't that just how it is in an earthly relationship?

I want to be a bride who cherishes every moment with her bridegroom. I don't want to lose a single moment of the precious gift I've been given. I know I will at times, still trample on my bridegroom. But I hope that today, I'm able to cherish a little more the precious connections God has gifted me with Jeremy and so many others, and even more, with my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Full

What does it mean to be full?

Is it having a lot on your schedule?  Is it when you've eaten a lot of food and your pants are stretching across your waist?   Is it when you have all the earthly goods you think you could want?  Is it feeling satisfied?

Today was a full day. What I mean is that all the hours and then some were scheduled with things that seemed important. (for many of us, that is every single day) Because of that particular brand of fullness today, I didn't end up with much in the way of a quiet time with the Lord. I have friends for whom that poses no problem and other friends for whom that poses a huge problem.  Sometimes, when I see such a wide spectrum, I am left wondering if one or the other is more 'correct'.

In the end, I'm not sure that either end of the spectrum is better.  The point of fullness is that it is found in Christ alone.  The method by which that happens isn't all that important to Jesus.  Jesus, when he was talking about the way the Pharisees tried to usurp God's place, said "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10.  I believe his point in that teaching moment was that our 'full' life will come when we are in relationship with Him.

When he says 'my sheep know my voice' He is referring to the idea of Relationship.  Recognition.  It's not just that they are able to read the Word of God and believe it, it's that they hear His voice and understand His Words to them personally.  The end result is being FULL.  And what are His sheep full of?

Him.

The Popular Girl

When I was a young lady, or even a child, I longed to be the popular girl.  I'd watch the kids at school or on the playground after church or at the beach and I could easily, or so I thought, pick out the ones that 'fit in'.

They were the ones surrounded by all the others.  They always seemed to have a witty reply at the ready.  Their hair and clothes always fit with the latest fashions.  They were always great looking with 'perfect' bodies. They were the Captain of the Football Team or the Class President or the Homecoming Queen.  They ruled the world.

As the years passed, the idea that I didn't fit grew more and more solidified in my mind and heart. Not much had changed, I was still looking in from the outside.  I still recall what it was like to wonder what I could do to make myself welcome in those 'in' crowds.

Recently I was swapping stories with a dear, beautiful friend of mine (she's one that I see as 'popular')  when she told me that she thinks of me as a magnetizing person of the sort who draws people. She went on and said that she thought of me as 'the life of the party, POPULAR, loved'.

Say WHAT??!!??

I was taken aback. That is NOT how I see myself at all. In fact, I still see myself much the same as I did in the past.  I often feel like the odd one out.  I often feel like everyone else looks better than I do, gets invited to more things than I do, has a better sense of fashion than I do, has a quicker wit than I do. My perception is that I'm still on the outside, looking in.

I mentioned our exchange to my husband and his response was immediate. 'Well you can see that she's right though, can't you?' It was completely obvious to him.  I had to stop and think about it.

Yes, I suppose I have grown into a more 'popular' sort of person.  Though attaching the word 'popular' to myself feels like a poor fit. In fact, there is even a niggling sense of guilt in admitting that I might be well-liked, as though I really ought to stay on the side-lines, you know, if I truly understood my place in the world.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that someone reading this is tracking with me. I'm going to assume that you are asking yourself the same questions I have been asking myself.

What the heck is this all about anyway!!??

I'm sure that my answer won't be complete, but here are at least a few thoughts that have crossed my mind.

1. Was I actually excluded as a child?  Was that the reality, or just my perception?
2. How often do I end up with a distorted view of my situation today?
3. Is the primary reason for these perceptions due to a lie being told me by the ultimate Liar, Satan?
4. How do I get my head wrapped around the reality of my acceptance in society?

I'm not sure how to answer question number one since time has passed and it'd be difficult to accurately assess the reality of my youthful perceptions, but it's an interesting thing to consider. Question #2 could be answered by asking people around me to help me assess what's going on, though it may be difficult to be certain since not everyone will answer forthrightly. Question #3 seems like perhaps a given, at least on some level.  That leaves me with question #4 and I think this is the most important one of all.

How do I get my head wrapped around the reality of my acceptance or lack of it in society? The answer lies in finding my identity in Christ.

If I want to know who I am, I must first go to the One who made me, who purposed me and who walks daily with me in the kind of relationship which fully understands me.  Much of 'feeling out of place' occurs when we don't feel accepted or understood.  

However, when we know, not just in our heads, but in our hearts that Jesus accepts us just as we are AND understands everything about us, that allows us to relax when we are in company.  It no longer matters so much what someone else thinks because we know that He who matters most is in love with us.

Here's the interesting result of that, we become more likable as a result! It is much easier to enjoy the company of a person who is comfortable in their own skin than it is to feel at ease with a person who is ill-at-ease with themselves. When we are uncomfortable with ourselves, we create work for the people around us as they need to reassure us of our worth(believe me, I know as I've required a HUGE amount of reassurance from loving people around me over the years and, MAN am I thankful for them!).  Or.......and this is often the experience of those who are insecure, we get singled out for mockery, since we make an easy target.  

Think about that, how many confident people get picked on?  If you can remember what it was like in school, it was always those who cowered that got treated badly.  

Here's the thing, if you don't already feel confident about yourself, reading a few bible verses isn't going to solve that.  We need more than that alone to come to a place of having a right view of ourselves. (Romans 12:3) If we wrestle with our identity in Christ, we need to take that issue to Jesus and ask Him to show us who we are and then we need to listen to His voice speaking to our hearts that truth.  That will change our lives more than any other thing.  The bible verses will give us the foundation, but Jesus speaking truth to the depths of our souls is what will bring healing and confident humility.

That said, I'm going to leave you with a link with a few verses that will give you the biblical foundation you need to get started understanding who you are IN CHRIST.  But it'll be up to you to speak to the Holy Spirit about how that is reality for you personally.

Verses about Identity IN CHRIST

Heartbreak Happens......Now What

God's heart breaks when we wallow in sin.  And yet His love for us NEVER changes.

Some people wonder whether God feels, as we do, whether He weeps over us, whether He experiences emotion at all.  I am fully convinced that He does and that He does so more profoundly than we can imagine. Remember Hebrews 2:9-10 But we do see Jesus, who was made lower than the angels for a little while, now crowned with glory and honor because he suffered death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone. In bringing many sons and daughters to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the pioneer of their salvation perfect through what he suffered.

What is even more amazing to me is that even when we break His heart again and again as we run to 'other gods' to satisfy us, His love for us remains completely unchanged.

There are those in my own life that I love desperately, but who run after 'other gods'. Watching this has an effect on my heart that I am unable to adequately describe.  A heaviness sometimes comes on me that I feel sometimes I will not be able to bear.  A breaking, weeping heart.  A crack and a piece falling out of place, it's jagged edges piercing and scraping as it falls in a heap.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12
I was asking Father God to help me understand this pain and what to do with it.  He reminded me that He allows it partly so that I will understand His heart toward me.  Each time I turn away from Him, I bring Him pain.  His heart, which is pure and perfect, must experience the pain of my foolishness.  His heart which has given literally EVERYTHING for me, must be broken time and again.

Oh Father!  I am so sorry for the way I've hurt you.  I hand Him the broken pieces and watch as He gently, expertly puts them all back as they were meant to be.  He heals them, sometimes even the scars disappear and I can see how He intended it to be in the first place.

Revelation 21:4 says "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." How I look forward to that day.  And perhaps that is part of why we face the pain we do, in it's way, this experience encourages us to gaze toward the future and to find hope in heaven.  

God will use anything and everything to teach and grow us, even the things we so desperately want to shut ourselves off from experiencing. Today, when pain comes my way, I do my best to let it do the work my kind and loving Father intends it to do.  It's not a lot of fun, but I am confident of this, that he who began a good work in you( and me!!!) will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.(Phil 1:6) 

I'll leave you with this quote from John Stott which expresses this idea so beautifully.

"In the real world of pain, how could one worship a God who was immune to it? I have entered many Buddhist temples in different Asian countries and stood respectfully before the statue of the Buddha, his legs crossed, arms folded, eyes closed, the ghost of a smile playing round his mouth, a remote look on his face, detached from the agonies of the world. But each time, after a while I have had to look away. And in imagination I have turned instead to the lonely, twisted, tortured figure on the cross, nails through hands and feet, back lacerated, limbs wrenched, brow bleeding from thorn pricks, mouth dry and intolerably thirsty, plunged in God-forsaken darkness. That is the God for me! He laid aside His immunity to pain. He entered our world of flesh and blood, tears and death. He suffered for us. Our sufferings become more manageable in the light of His. There is still a question mark against human suffering, but over it we stamp another mark, the cross which symbolizes divine suffering."

—John R.W. Stott in "The Cross of Christ"

Friendship

My husband has, at times, had to be away from home for business.  There is always a part of me that dreads the separation.  I suppose that is partly due to being a creature of habit, but I think it is much more than that.  I think the primary reason is the interruption in our relationship.

My husband is my friend.  He's the one who listens to me the most often, who shares himself with me the most often, who cries with me the most often.

I sat here with my dog recently, as my only companion and thought what it would be like to be without the man who's shared my life for the last 24 years, and I realized how blessed I am to have a good man at my side.  I thought of friends I've known over the years who's only daily companions have been pets, books and very quiet walls.

(This is my grandson Liam and our dog Bean, they are working on their friendship.)

We are made for relationship. We need to share our hearts with another human being.  It's why sometimes we get desperate and will do almost anything to have someone there beside us.  I thought of the years I spent giving away pieces of my heart to friends and boyfriends simply because they were there and I wanted someone,.........anyone.  I thought of precious people I know who are doing that very thing now because of the pain of loneliness in their lives.

I'm blessed, as I said before, with a committed, kind and generous husband today, but that may not always be the case.  One day, I may face loneliness again.  Will I still be tempted to accept whatever companionship happens to be available out of desperation?

I believe the answer is NO, and here is the reason. Today, I know the very best friend I could ever have!  I know Jesus and it is He who will fill all the empty places.  I pray that those who know the depths of loneliness will find the One Friend who will never leave them or forsake them.  He is Jesus, the One and Only and He's always waiting to sit by the fire with you, share a cup of coffee and chat.

That may seem like so much cheesiness and maybe it is a bit, but it is also truth.  Today, if you hear his voice, listen and then share your heart.

And, if you know someone who is lonely, consider being a friend. And while you're at it, introduce them to the VERY BEST FRIEND, introduce them to Jesus!

No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. John 15:15

Where Treasure Lives

The voice of a woman among the community of believers is more often misunderstood or ignored completely than the voice of a man.  I'm under no illusions as to that fact.  This is not because godly men don't desire to consider a feminine view, it's just part of the repercussions of  The Fall. Godly men will deny this fact on one hand and then immediately confirm it with commentaries about a woman's unpredictability during the course of her menstrual cycle.

As women, we may believe that the only way for us to prove our reliability is to effectively crush the very things which define our femininity. Little wonder that feminism has taken this approach in recent years.  Woman? What woman?  I don't see a woman here, just a human who has a female body, but NO, she's never governed by anything but reason and logic.  But that is a catch 22 isn't it, since such a woman isn't considered feminine, womanly.

We have a unique position as women in the body of Christ.  Often, it can feel like a position of powerlessness.  This isn't true at all. The reality is that we have tremendous influence, but rarely, if ever, direct influence and that may explain why we have the impression of powerlessness.

Mary, the mother of Jesus must have felt this very strongly.  As a Jewish woman in her time, she would have been relegated to the status of property,service and second class citizen by, not just her husband, but the community as a whole.  Within that brand of societal pressure, she was asked by God himself to bear and raise, together with Joseph, the Child who would change the world.

Perhaps it is important to consider that framework as we view Mary's response to the birth of her very precious Son.

But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. Luke 2:19

Today's 1st World woman might be inclined to post it on Facebook, write a blog entry, invite the media or perhaps author a book. At the very least, she'd want to host a party. But Mary simply gathered up all the bits and pieces that God himself offered her and started a treasure box inside the confines of her heart where they would be safe from harm.

What does it mean to treasure and ponder? We can't know for certain, but as I've considered Mary's actions (it is said that she does this several times throughout the narratives) I've sought to learn how to treasure the things the Lord shows me.  The idea puts me in mind of another decidedly Jewish practice, that of placing stones of remembrance. Samuel does this in 1 Samuel 7:12 as a way to remind the people of God's faithfulness.

Each time the Lord opens our ears to hear His voice whisper truths, let us ponder those words and then set them alongside our other treasures as Mary did. Surely, there will be many times in the future when we'll have a need to go through our stored treasure as we watch our world crumbling around us.  I envision Mary doing just that as she watched her Son on the Cross.  The truths that she had pondered and stored all those years ago must have served to give her strength when she needed it most.

I'm hoping that the treasure I've stored will serve to influence you by the power of the Spirit of God. I'm opening up my treasure box today and sharing with you the jewel which I seem to have the most of.  This gem sparkles and shines and reminds me of who I really am in times when I begin to doubt.  This is the gem which whispers steadily and repeatedly 'I love you darling.'.  It's a phrase my Jesus frequently speaks to me and today I was reminded that He does this on purpose so I will store it carefully in my hearts treasure box.  I hope you too will store this truth in yours.

What is Glory Anyway???

But when one turns to the Lord,

the veil is removed. 

Now the Lord is the Spirit, 

and where the Spirit of the Lord is,

there is freedom. 

And we all, with unveiled face,

beholding the glory of the Lord,

are being transformed into the same

image from one degree of glory to another.

For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

2 Corinthians 3:16-18 (ESV)

I have spent hour upon hour contemplating the glory of the Lord.  Mostly, my reason for this was because it was something I simply didn't understand,........but I wanted to.  Glory seemed to me to be a mystery.

The only way I was at all able to explain God's Glory was by borrowing the language found in passages like Isaiah 6:1-6 or Revelation 4.  Grand images of throne rooms and robes, angelic hosts and light beyond imagining were the place of beginning for me. The sound of the voices of the angels alone seem like they would cause an onlooker to faint dead away.  But when the voice of the One is heard........well how can that be comprehended?!

Recently, I was reading an entry from Oswald Chambers 'My Utmost For His Highest'. (the entry was January 23rd, if you're interested) The devotional itself was very impacting, but I'm a bit of a rebel and cannot simply leave my study at only a snippet of Scripture which appears to be plopped down out of context.  'What Else Does It Say!!??' screams my inquisitive mind.

So I spent a bit of time in 2 Corinthians 3 to learn what was the context.  In the end, I had to agree that Mr. Chamber's people had well chosen the passage that was being illuminated. Here it is again,

And we all, with unveiled face,beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

What grabbed me was the idea that beholding His glory brings about transformation. Because my concept of glory was fixed on the idea of grandeur and majesty, I have often felt at a loss as to how exactly to be transformed by that glory. I pondered over this a while longer and then did what I've been training myself to do, I asked Jesus.  Here was my question. 

"Jesus, I want to behold your glory, but I am not always sure how to accomplish this.  How do you want to show me Your glory right now?"

I am lately in the habit of asking Jesus questions like this and then sitting quietly and listening in my heart for what He would say.  On this occasion, he caught me by surprise.  The first line from Chamber's devotional said "The outstanding characteristic of a Christian is this unveiled frankness before God so that the life becomes a mirror for other lives." 

As I considered that, I realized that being unveiled and frank implies being open as to what I really think about Him and then inviting Him to correct whatever needs correcting. In this instance, here is how Jesus corrected me.

Where I thought glory was meant to be bright and shiny, He reminded me that He'd been an ordinary carpenter and yet that He'd displayed God's glory every day of His life.  Where I thought it involved angelic songs, He reminded me that it simply meant a quiet touch and a kind word to one who is hurting. Where I thought it required weird creatures circling above an impossibly large throne, Jesus reminded me that it was simply when His sheep hear His voice and come to Him.

And when it was time to be personal, He reminded me that His glory is displayed in ME every time a new and healthy response comes out of me that looks like Jesus' reflection.  Throwing out my old ways of thinking, the ones that weighed me down is a reflection of Jesus' glory in me.

He reminded me that my definition of glory needed some refining too, right alongside of me.  I wonder, what other definitions are in need of some tweaking?  Today, I invite you to ask Jesus the question I asked. If He shows you something you hadn't seen before, I do hope you'll share it with me.

The Goodness We Sometimes Miss

“Ask, and it will be given to you; 

seek, and you will find; 

knock, and it will be opened to you. 

For everyone who asks receives, 

and the one who seeks finds, 

and to the one who knocks it will be opened. 

Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, 

will give him a stone? 

Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? 

If you then, who are evil, 

know how to give good gifts to your children, 

how much more will your Father 

who is in heaven give good things 

to those who ask him!

Matthew 7:7-11(ESV)

Recently, I was reading in Matthew, in particular, Chapters 6 and 7. Having begun with 7:7-11 and working backwards, I realized that much of the sermon on the mount is meant to help Father's children recognize the goodness of His heart toward them. 

I've spent more time than I care to remember worrying over many things. Sometimes those are related to provision, though not terribly often that. Sometimes it related to what someone else was doing and whether it was the 'right' thing to do, asking whether they were in God's will or not. Many more times, I was concerned with whether or not I was 'in God's will' or doing the 'right thing'. 

This morning, as I considered this passage, I was blown away by the unfathomable sea of goodness that the Father invites me to wade in. 

It's His goodness towards me. 

His heart towards me is always that I would know He is on my side, that He is offering protection, provision and blessings. It may not always be material blessing (though it often includes this) but primarily, His desire is that I fully understand His goodness toward me. He tips up my chin so that I look at His face and see His eyes sparkling down at me in delight. 

His gaze is fixed on me not because of my goodness or that I am 'in His will', but simply because I am His child and He delights in me. It is out of this experiential knowledge that my service to Him grows and is perfected. As I receive His goodness for me, I can share it generously with those around me.

Father God is for me and He is FOR YOU. His desire is that you and I know we are accepted as we are, fully. Does He want to sanctify us? Of course!!! But He does this through the filter of His love and provision for us. So many things we worry about as Jesus says in the chapters mentioned above, but what Father wants is for us to know He provides all we need out of His Fatherly love toward us, his child.

Spend some time soon in what is known as The Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7) and look there for the goodness of God through the words of Jesus.  Don't let that goodness be something you've missed.