3.15.2010

It's Millie's Birthday

And she's gone.  She's 18 and she's done with us.  She got what she came for and now she's burning the bridges.

My reaction wants to be to say "Fine, and don't come back."  But I won't do that.  It hurts the way she left.  But I'm trying to put myself in her shoes and remember what it was like when I was that age.  I certainly didn't want anyone telling me that I had anything to learn.  And rules??? Forget it.

The house is quiet.  Kaitlin is happy to have her room.  Maddie is sad to lose the person she's been latched onto for the past few months.  Hunter is......well, Hunter.  I cried.  I think Jeremy cried.  I suppose Millie is celebrating.

I have no expectation of hearing from her again anytime soon.  I am praying.  I hope I will be faithful enough to continue with that.

It's foster parenting.  You may never know what the end will be but you still put your best foot forward, no matter how battered and scuffed it is.

These are a couple of her Senior Portraits that I took a couple of weeks ago.  I know she enjoyed that.  I did too.  She's beautiful.

5 comments:

  1. She is gorgeous!

    I know in my heart that my son will be doing the same thing when he turns 18, sooner if he thinks he can get away with it, even though he won't graduate high school for another year.

    A good friend of mine said his adopted daughter did the same thing when she turned 18. She told him she was moving in with her mother... and he told her he wasn't going to stop her (he's pretty sure that shocked her because they both knew her mom was bad news). Two years later she came back. She had been living rough and looked it. He told her he was glad she didn't get pregnant, and welcolmed her home. She went to college, got good grades, and now has a good job.

    With my son I plan to let him go, but make sure he knows that I will always love him and be there when he's ready to come back (but I'm not going to change my mind about the rules - no drugs or alcohol in the house and no abuse of any kind to any family member). I hope that someday I'll see him again.

    Hugs and prayers,
    Mary in TX

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  2. She is beautiful isn't she. I didn't know how sad I'd be to see her go. It's hard when you live with someone who hurts you to recognize how much you love them. I've loved her since she was 9. Half her life. I hope one day she'll value that and the care we did give. I hope Satan doesn't kill her before she reconciles with God.

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  3. She WILL always love and remember you. 18 is tough... adult but NOT. Independent but NOT. Knows everything, but NOT. I am confident that she will at least come back to you in her heart. The world is a tough teacher, but gets the job done. God will see to it!

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  4. I hope so B.E. but we only had her for a total of 21 months, three of those being the summer between her eigth and ninth grade year. It's in God's hands I suppose.

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  5. You have a huge heart, my own heart goes out to you. She'll find her way.

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