"Last night, I was reading the book, ‘Healing Back Pain’ by Dr. John Sarno. It’s the third time I’ve read it because it has a profound impact on a person’s life. This time, I started because of some recurring tendonitis that I believe is related to TMS. (read the book if you want to know what that is, and believe me, it will be a worthwhile endeavor!) It’s been helping with that. But the thing that really grabbed me last night was the description of the types of people who tend to suffer with TMS.
The first thing that jumps out at me is ‘perfectionistic’. Yep, that is me. I've been called an overachiever. I can’t deal with something being just ok. It has to be over the top fantastic or it’s not good enough. I actually like that about myself in some respects. That is to say I usually like the end result. However, I’ve come to realize that in part it’s a reaction to fear.
I wanted to take some time and list some of the fears that I struggle with. Maybe if I put them down on paper they’ll have less power over me. Or at least I’ll recognize when they are affecting my actions and I need to do something different. Many of them are completely unfounded and unreasonable. Some are the result of experience, but are still not reasonable in a general sense. Some are realities that I must live with.
Face the fear.
- People will not approve of me unless I am always ‘on my game’.
- If I make a mistake, I’ll be dismissed or discarded.
- I will come home to my house having burned down.
- If my phone is ringing it’s because someone wants to speak to me about something I’ve done wrong.
- I will appear foolish.
- I will appear to be unattractive.
- I will be disliked. I am disliked.
- My husband will leave me.
- I will devastate someone.
- I will be unable to cope.
What strikes me most profoundly about this realization is how powerful these unfounded fears can be and how much they drive me and other people as well. I wonder how often we as people struggle to overcome the fears, especially those having to do with the approval of others. Even in this photo, I am unhappy because it’s not my best. I was trying for a self-portrait and somehow, what I saw in the mirror didn’t translate to the camera. Is it because I don’t see myself realistically? Is it because we all want to be something we are not? Today, I'm trying to face the Fear."
And here is the layout that resulted.
This was made using Studio Calico's Glee Club kit from a few months back. I hope you find it helpful. This particular issue is one that I feel plagues most of us in some way or another and I hate to let it get the best of any of us!
Have a happy day!
Have a happy day!