So this morning I was pondering how much effort has gone to the issue of self-esteem and of course, in the lives of countless others. It has been a LOT of energy!
However, just this morning, I think I finally GOT something. A truth that God has been angleing for for quite some time in my own heart and I'm guessing in yours too. It is the truth that my self is supposed to decrease as HIMSELF increases.
As long as I've pursued self-esteem, which has been quite elusive, I've been unhappy in one way or another. I've tried to see myself as a wonderful person with many gifts to offer and attactive and intelligent and capable and blah, blah, blah. However, I never can seem to believe it.
I believe God showed me why. It's because outside of His love and His purposes and His glory, I am not any of those things in any convincing way. My self, at it's core is greedy and angry and murderous and completely self-serving. Now that I've come to accept this as truth, I am happier and feel better about myself than I ever have. Isn't that backwards from the way we usually see it?
But now I know that I don't have to be all of the things I thought I needed to believe about myself. All I have to do is live a life that glorifies Christ. When I do that, I will be a beautiful person. I will be strong because it will be God's strength that holds me up. I will be intelligent because the Holy Spirit is guiding me into all truth and wisdom. I will be beautiful because I will radiate the light of Christ. I will have talents that pour from the source of heaven's many gifts. My self will be history and instead His Story will shine through.
So, good-bye self-esteem. I don't need you any more!