I know, it's twice in one day again, but I can hardly contain myself. I had an amazing revelation today. Now, to those of you who have been long time RAD moms, you will wonder how it took me so long. But for those of you who aren't, well you likely won't understand at all. That's okay. I have figured something out and I am happy about that.
Today, as I was spending time with my dear MIL, we discussed my daughter Maddie's poor performance in school. It's been a frustration for quite a while now. I have tried about everything I could think of, but to no avail. It has made me angry to watch such a bright mind be wasted because of nothing but rebellion.
Poor Madison has made it her life's mission to tank in school since about six months after moving in with us. There hase been no real progress at all in this area. Today, I finally realized that Maddie quit doing well in school at the exact time that she began trying with all her might to push Jeremy and I away. Before that, we'd honeymoon quite a bit. She had tried to con us into thinking she was a sweet little angel and in some respects we bought it. Unfortunately for her, we began to catch on.
At that point, she went from an A/B student to a C/D/F student, almost over night. From there, we've gotten nowhere with education. I've known all along that education is not the point, but I had blinders on and somehow couldn't let it go. Madison, being the smart cookie that she is, realized this and has used this quite effectively to push us completely away(and triangulate with us and the teachers).
Today, I realized that my goal must be to allow her to fail if that is what she needs to do while I lavishly love her, parent her with wisdom and appropriate consequences and use her actions to help her see inside her heart. I'm onto SOMETHING BIG!!!