Hello friends. I've been rather quiet of late, you might have noticed. I'll be sharing a little of why in a bit. For now, let me show you a layout I did recently for Lily Bee Design.
We focused on Winter this week and Patricia Roebuck and I started day one with our respective views of Winter. You can see the details of that here.
But I'll also show you my layout here.
My favorite feature of this layout is something I've been meaning to try for a good long while, a whole 12 x12 layer of vellum over the background. I love the way it softens and adds dimension.
Now, as to the reasons for my quietude. We've spent the last month having our daughter Maddie back at home for the holidays. When Maddie went to Teen Challenge, we didn't anticipate her coming home for holidays, as typically, the program would continue right through the holidays. However, circumstances dictated a closure for the facitity for a one month period and home she came.
All of us involved had feelings of trepidation. It required that Hunter leave home during that period, which was not a welcome thought. It required that I cease pretty much all outside activities that would take me away from the home. (a considerable number!) It required that we spend a lot of time together with one another when our previous parting had been under such conditions that any kind of communication seemed nearly impossible. It required that we stop attending our regular church (which is our family in the truest sense of the word) during the entire holiday season. (which broke our hearts)
It was a hard thing.
It also required that I spend hours daily simply sitting and talking with my daughter, trying to help, trying to reach into the protected places, trying to rebuild a trust that had been broken countless times and in countless ways. It required that I make myself vulnerable yet again to ridicule, scorn and rejection from a child whose heart was very much like an animal caught in a painful trap. In the past, Maddie would sooner bite and rip at the hand reaching out to help, or even chew off her own hand, rather than let me help her to release the trap from her wounded heart.
So, as you might imagine, we were quite nervous at how this Christmas would turn out.
Boy, did we have a blessing from the Lord coming! We picked Maddie up after an 8 hour drive at 1:00 in the afternoon and immediately began the 8 hour drive back. It was a grueling trip and I was very 'on edge'. However, with much prayer, my eyes were opened to a young woman whose heart had softened considerably.
Was she completely healed? No, not by a long shot. But she was no longer snapping at the hand that sought to release the trap. Instead, while it hurts to open the trap and let the wound bleed, she has come to realize it is necessary for her to be free.
The process of healing from deep hurt is absolutely agonizing for the one wounded. It's not worse than being in the trap, but the poor hurting soul doesn't know that ahead of time.
So, this last month has been spent in lancing the wound and letting the infection out again and again. It reminds me of what is necessary to treat a burn victim. It's a daily agony meant to ultimately heal. But there will be scars and no one is looking forward to those either. Everyone would like the end result to appear unscathed, but we all know that is not possible.
It's been an intense but also a rewarding time. It's been a time when hope has grown. Healing has taken place Trust has been built, really for the very first time. It's been a time to say 'sorry' and a time to say 'I love you' and a time to say 'I can't wait for the future to unfold.'
Now, I have to figure how to get back into the swing of things. I woke up Thursday morning and missed my girl and wondered what the heck I'd do with myself all day long. Believe me, that is a new feeling for me. It is hard to miss heartache and that is what we had before. Now, we have a new beginning because of the healing of a Savior beyond compare, Jesus and I am so thankful for that.