7.09.2012

Hello Tuesday -- Can You Say Busy??

I sure can.  Yep, something to do all the time.

My poor DH told me yesterday that he wrenched his back pretty badly playing basketball.  Since I recently did the same, we shall be quite a pair.  And did I mention we are going camping this weekend?

Yeah, we are.  Should be fun.  Eeep!

So.....uh.....did you happen to see this?  I am kind of thinking it's super fun!  And super easy and you really need to make one and then send me a link so I can see too!

Oh...and.....sneak


So I was trying to take a picture of what I saw in the mirror this morning, which, while a bit.....organic (yes, still sweaty from Jazzercise) I kind of liked what I was seeing.

This is what I got and it did not look like what my eye-balls were seeing in the mirror.  So I ask myself, is that because my eyeballs deceive me or is it because my camera is too close to it's subject to get an accurate rendition?  I'm going with option B.


But I am sharing anyway because, well, I don't have that much to show you today and I know that pictures are better than just words. ;) (can you tell I'm feeling a little snarky?)

Can you tell from this pic that I've lost 10 lbs?  No? Well, I have, but, I'm not brave enough to show you the rest just yet.  But throw a party for those pounds that have said good-bye!

Alrighty then, some story.........

I shared about one of my escapes yesterday.  There was another escape destination.  Across the way from us lived a very normal family.  As you might expect, their home was a lot nicer than ours.  Actually, it looked a great deal like the one I now live in, but coming from where I did at the time, I was sure it was a palace.  It was a two story home set on 5 acres of pastureland.  Almost the entire property was enclosed by a fence to keep the cow and horses in.

Miss Ann, the family mom, was very sweet and welcomed both my mother and I into her home.  I really don't think we had anything in common with their family, but that didn't seem to matter to Ann.  She had two children who were a few years older than I and a very kind and dutiful husband who worked all day to provide for his family, like you might expect.  Ann drove a silver Camaro which made her the coolest mom  ever in my book.

Mama and I would go there together to visit, watch soap operas and drink sweet tea.  Sometimes, Ann's daughter, Veronica, would clean out her things and pass along some hand me downs.  I almost felt like I could be normal when I was with them.  I'd imagine what it would be like to live in a nice home and have enough money to keep cold Coke's in the fridge like Ann did, or to own more than one pair of blue jeans at a time.  It seemed like heaven to me.

I was very grateful for their friendship.

My 7th grade year went by relatively uneventfully.  I went to school every weekday. Stayed home mostly on Saturday's since I hadn't really made many friends.  Church all day on Sunday's.  Gavin's family had left again, so I didn't get to spend time with them.

Sometimes I'd go for walks and haunt my old hiding spots.

We did make another connection with a family named the Reese's.  They were a family we'd known quite some time before but had lost touch with.  I'm not sure how, but mama reconnected and we began spending time at their home also.  They bred Akita's for show.  They loved dogs and they also loved me.

One day, Mrs. Reeves asked me whether I'd like to have a dog of my own.  I can't tell you what prompted her to ask me, but she did.

I couldn't imagine that my mother would allow such a thing, but of course, as any kid would, I was immediately enamored with the idea.  Mr. & Mrs. Reese talked it over with my mother and it was decided that they would get me a puppy.  They felt strongly that the puppy needed a fence also and so they also committed to build him a fenced in area.

The idea of a fence was a foreign concept to me.  Back then, at least where I lived, the only people who had fences were those who kept cattle and horses. Nobody's dogs were fenced in, that was for sure.  I envisioned a fence that went all the way around our 5 acre lot. After all, a dog needs room to run.

Oblivious to how all this would work, I happily anticipated the beautiful, snuggly puppy I would own.

The school year was winding down and not only were the Reese's planning to find just the right puppy for me, they were also planning to host a birthday party for me for my 13th birthday.  I can't recall when I'd ever had a real birthday party before.

Once again, I was beside myself with excitement.  We plotted and planned.  Decorations were purchased, invitations were sent.  It was going to be a grand affair. I don't know when I ever felt as special as I did just planning for that occasion.

Finally, the day arrived.  The party was to be held at the Reese's home.  Mama and I arrived in plenty of time to help set up.  The Reese's two young children were there, very excited for the festivities to begin.  It was to be a slumber party and I and my girlfriends would sleep on the living room floor while mama slept in the guest room.

All we had to do was wait for the guests to arrive.  We waited.

And waited.

And waited....................................................No one came.  Not one soul showed up at my birthday party.

There were lots of hurts in my life, but that one somehow solidified for me the truth about myself.  No one would love me.  No one wanted me. No one really cared.  I was alone.

Yes, my mama was there and the Reese's were there, but somehow, that didn't matter. That I had no friends to call my own meant I wasn't really lovable.

In an effort to cheer me up, the Reese's took me out to meet the puppy they'd chosen for me.  He was the sweetest little ball of black and white fur I'd ever encountered.  While all the pain wasn't washed away by his happy puppy kisses, I did feel I'd found a friend.

I named him 'Biffer'.  (don't ask, I have no idea where I came up with that one)  He was a black and white Australian Shepherd, and he was mine.  I might not have any girlfriends, but I had a puppy who loved me.  I curled up on the living room floor that evening with Biffer and the Reese children and tried to sleep and dream away the heartache.

I was glad in the knowledge that there were some good things happening. And besides, I was thirteen.  Surely good things happen for those who are thirteen.

9 comments:

  1. I had a similar incident happen to me just last year. I had a falling out with my best friend about a month before my birthday. She had betrayed me in our friendship, and led me to belief that the things I confided in her wouldn't be judged or repeated. I was wrong. Not only did the two of us end our friendship, she went to our many, many mutual friends, and told them that I was a horrible person and they couldn't be friends with us both. I lost a lot of friends in a short amount of time. I was astonished that people who claimed to be close to me could believe the lies she told about me. And I was even more blown away that several mutual friends stuck around just to be her "spies" for several months. My birthday came around, and lots of people agreed to come ... and only one of our couple-friends showed up (she'd made several nasty comments that we were also friends with them, and how she'd never liked them). I was devistated and heart broken. I felt exactly as you described - like maybe all the horrible things she said about me were true. Maybe I was a terrible person and no fun to be around. I have been so hurt by that. It's a year later and I'm still welling up tears as I type this. I am so sorry that you had to endure that pain at 13. I know how awful it feels at our age now, and I'd never wish that on anyone. ((hugs))

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh how this reminds me of my baby shower last year. 25 *friends* accepted the invite to come. 4 showed up...still stings...

    ReplyDelete
  3. The sneak looks really nice!

    I always had problems with brithday parties. I was born between Christmas and New Year's Eve and in Brazil that falls in the middle of Summer vacation, so all my friends were away at the beach with their families. I never had a proper birthday party. :/

    ReplyDelete
  4. I experienced that growing up. It devastated me. I never had many friends in school, either, being a shy girl. Apparently (and I still don't believe it, to this day) it was because I was a 'snob'. How would they know if they never took the chance to get to know me?? Anyways, I hurt beyond belief by One girl in particular who told me she would be coming. I waited and waited until we had to leave (we had plans to go swimming), so I called her house. Her dad answered and told me she'd gone shopping with her mother, and he didn't think she'd be coming to my birthday party. Crushed much? Yes! I found out later, that she had never intended to come. At least all the other girls I had invited had declined. I felt that was easier to deal with than to be deceived! This would have been in grade 9. I was going to a Christian school, and decided that I'd never go to the Christian high school. I didn't want to spend anymore time with kids that obviously never liked me. PUblic school it was!

    I experienced something like this again this past February- but over my own children's birthday party. Two girlfriends had been helping me plan and make their birthday cake (I have twins). I could hardly wait for the day of their party arrive! My parents, sister and brother in law were all coming out, and I'd invited one other person in town that we knew (other than my two girlfriends). The day arrived, and we waited and waited for them to come. I finally texted them to find out where they were, and they both told me they weren't coming because they thought they weren't invited. What??! They had both been there to plan and decorate the cake. In my mind, it was just a given that they were coming! I apologized to them for making them feel that way, but asked them why they couldn't ASK me what was going on!

    I'm still devastated over this one. Its one thing to treat me like crap. Its ok, I'm used to it. But, DON'T do this to my children. They didn't do anything to deserve being treated this way. If they weren't coming to the party because of me, come for my children. I've since sort of made up with one of the girls, and attempted making up with the other one. I don't feel that anythings' been resolved, so I'm keeping my distance. Which sucks, because we're new to this town, and I would love to make some GOOD, new friends. Its making me miss the place we moved from in a whole new way. I had really good friends there.

    A lot of time has passed since February, and I don't think much about what happened anymore, but when I do, it still makes me shake my head and my heart ache. I must be a terrible person. Why else would stuff like this keep happening?

    Thanks for sharing. I identify with you on so many levels!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. as you can see many share your experience. childhood can be very painful how lucky you are to be in a good place so that the fear of sharing is no longer holding you hostage.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I love the sneak, and your story just breaks my heart. You have definitely overcome so much to get to where you are now!

    ReplyDelete
  7. That story just breaks my heart. Such a powerful memory. I was picked on as a child and it takes a lifetime to overcome those things, doesn't it? Love the sneak, on a happier note:)

    ReplyDelete
  8. "Surely good things happen for those who are thirteen."
    That sounds like a set-up. lol

    Thirteen wasn't a good year for me, either. But I'll tell you: if I'd known you at that age, we'd've been good friends. I promise!!! ;^)

    ReplyDelete

I really enjoy your feedback, so thanks a bundle for taking the time to leave it.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...