She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not

I'm still pondering on the question of what would I not give up.  God has provided some new perspective on that question.  The result?  A whole new bunch of things I may need to give up.  I thought I'd list them for you so you could see whether you can relate.

1.     the trip to Paris I've been dreaming of taking for a very long time
2.     the opportunity to photograph places and things in freedom when the mood strikes
3.     travel in general
4.     money/financial security
5.     carefree living
6.     quiet and solitude
7.     sleep
8.     my own selfish desire/my way
9.     my photography career
10.   a worry free life (I know, this was a fantasy from the beginning)
11.   a plan, my plan
12.   comfort
13.   relationships in the way I've maintained them
14.   a beautiful home

I'm sure that there are plenty of other things, but those are the ones that come to mind at present.  The funny thing is that it's tempting to me to worry over whether I can live without those things.  I can sit and ponder whether or not I should obey God.  Heelllllllooooooo!!!  Why would I even think such a thing.  I know that nothing comes from ignoring God's call on my life.  I know that I don't want to be Jonah. Still, some things feel like more than I can bear to give up. 

Somehow the idea of never going to Paris is truly painful to me.

There, I've typed it.  Not sure I feel any better.  It sounds so shallow.  But there it is.  It's honest, it's how I feel inside.  Ugh!!!  I've clearly got a bit more work to do.  So, how bout you?  What can you just not let go of?

What is it all Really About Anyway?

What is the Christian life about?  Some would ask simply, what is life about.  But since I'm a follower of Christ, that is the perspective I want to examine.  Again, I beg you will allow me to share how Mexico moved me on this topic.

I've been a Christian for many years.  Most of my life I have at least given lip service to the Christian life.  I have served in Women's Ministry since 2001, in worship ministry since around 1995 and in various other capacities at times.  I have thought I had it figured out.  I have believed that I knew what the Christian life was about.

However, the more time goes by, the more I realize that I know next to nothing.  Just when I think I've figured something out about Christianity, God blows a big whole in my theory.

Ultimately, it's all about Christ.  Of course, we know that.  But what about Christ?  It's about knowing Him and serving Him and spending ourselves for Him, in His service.  That's the thing that grabbed me in Mexico.  I watched the Coult family spend themselves daily in His service, in getting to know Him, in blessing and being blessed by His people.  I watched them feed everyone who came along, offer a drink to everyone who came along, share Christ with everyone who came along.  I watched them boldly present the cause of Christ to anyone who would listen.  I watched them listen to Him and worship Him and pray to Him.  And at the end of the day, they would go to bed exhausted in the service of Christ.  And do you know what was most unique about all of this? 

They were happy.

They live in conditions that we in America would consider abject poverty, with barely enough income to feed their family of eight.  In a house made of rough concrete, the inside walls being made of plastic tarp and the doors of curtain.  With no hot water, with limited water at all, with a leaky roof and a clothesline and a washer that has to be filled with a hose because it doesn't work right anymore.  They subsist on a diet of beans and rice and a bit of fruits and veggies with a few treats thrown in here and there and very occasionally, a bit of meat.  In the middle of a village filled with mosquitos during the hot season where temperatures reach above 100 degrees for about 4 months out of the year.  In a land where they've had to completely give up their language and their culture to learn to blend into a foreign culture just so that they can have some credability with the locals.  They feed their cats the scraps from their own table and the dogs as well.

But they are happy.  The happiest people I think I've ever met.

They spend time daily praising God, studying His Word and going out among the local villagers and sharing Christ in a variety of ways.  They spend themselves extravagantly, storing up treasures in heaven.

I think that is what it is about.  It's about spending yourself for the cause of Christ.  About forsaking everything else, all the comforts, all the seeming 'necessities' to give everything to the one who gave everything for us.  About truly loving to the point of risking it all.

By the way, if you'd like to learn more about their family or are interested in supporting their mission efforts (and I highly recommend doing so as even if all you give is $10 a month, it would be a blessing) please visit their blog at The Coult Family.  If you scroll down a bit, you'll find where you can make a donation. I hope you will!

How to Let Go

Life is a lot about letting things go. Sometimes it is people I cling to, sometimes things, sometimes ideas and what I believe to be knowledge. I've noticed that the tighter I hold onto something, the harder it is to give up. I sometimes hate to think of that old cliche that says "If you love something let it go, if it comes back it was yours, if not, it was never yours to begin with." I hate to think of it because it is right, yet it is so contrary to my human tendency.

Mexico was a place that brought that concept home to my heart a bit more firmly than in the past. My mind has been dancing tenatively around the whole concept, but I think it finally came to rest on the beach in Las Glorias.

Being in Mexico was a lesson in giving things up because most of what I am used to having just wasn't available there. (I did bring my own Mountain Dew, so at least I had that, LOL)  I went to the beach but there were no conveniences there.  No beachside soda stands, or snack bars.  No lounge chairs or bathrooms.  There was just water, sand, seashells, wind, me and my God.  And I have to say that I have never felt what I felt that day!  I walked up and down the beach, combing for seashells and sand dollars and worshipping God through song, prayer and a general appreciation for the beauty surrounding me.  God talked back. 

It was the coolest thing when I found two sand dollars, one right after another.  One was nearly perfect, the other, a little marred but still quite wonderful.  I trundled along, enjoying them and thanking God.  After a bit, I had asked God if he'd help me find some more.  His answer, "Give up the ones you have and I will give you more."  I've learned that God is faithful in those kinds of things. 

So, when a family of 5 from Quebec passed by with three small children, I knew I should share my treasures with them.  I checked with my Father and He confirmed.  Over to the small group I went, offering what I had.  It turned out that one of their three children had found a sand-dollar but the other two had been searching in vain.  I shared, they went off happily and guess what I found almost immediately.  Two and half more sand dolllars made their way into my bucket.  But I must admit, after sharing my treasures with those children, it didn't matter so much what I found to keep.  I had shared something beautiful as well the love of God.  What more could I want?

It is the small lessons like this one that I just love.  The way God is so tender to show me His blessings.  The way He does it gently, and yet still firmly.  He is insistent that I follow His lead, but it is in a beckoning way rather than a showy or demanding way.  When I'm sensative to Him, he has no need to bully me and so I learn in grace and beauty.

The one impression I came away from Mexico most strongly with was that I need to let go of things.  I need to be willing to wait to see what God wants me to have and let the rest slip between my fingers like so many grains of sand.  When I'm holding on to them, I see that I will miss the simple beauty, the things that are calming and energizing.  I'll spend all my time trying to maintain a hold on what never was mine in the first place.  The question I keep asking is this, "What is there in my life that I am unwilling to live without?"  That is the thing I must most emphatically hand over to God.

Home again

Hey there friends!  I'm back from my adventure!  And what an adventure it has been.  I'm not at all sure of where to begin or what to tell. 
I know that I am changed. 
I know I will forever see myself and others in a different light.
I know that possessions and the question of whether or not I need a thing will be much more of a struggle than it ever was before.
I know that I saw beauty in ways that I believe most American people would be blind to.
I know that God works miracles.
I know that there is power in preaching the Word of God and in singing praises to Him.
I know that life is something to be shared with others who are on the journey.
I know that there is much I need to give up.
I know that I'll be blessed when I do.
I know that there is always someone with less than I have that is greater than me.
I know that there is much more life than most of us ever experience.

Perhaps I'll try to distill some of this in written form over the next few days.  For now, I am thankful for the opportunity and I honestly cannot wait to go back, even though it's darned inconvenient living in Mexico.