Tired

I don't know why, but I'm tired today.  I slept well last night.  A long night of rest really, about 9 hours.  Yet today, I can scarcely keep my eyes open.

It's been a hectic week.  Some very good friends lost their father unexpectedly this week and we've been grieving with them.  Perhaps that is why I feel tired.

I also find myself continually seeking God.  Seeking a deeper love for Him.  Seeking a richer comprehension of His character and person.  Seeking to see His power in action among His people.  Seeking to see His people fall passionately, madly, hopefully in LOVE with Him.

I was reading AW Tozer's 'The Pursuit of God', which I happen to think is one of the most profound books I've ever read, aside from the Bible itself of course.  Tozer has a way of very eloquently proclaiming the very thoughts of my own heart.  I could never say things as he does, but I rejoice to know that someone else knows.

This time, I was caught up with the following statements. "In this hour of all-but-universal darkness one cheering gleam appears: Within the fold of conservative Christianity there are to be found increasing numbers of persons whose religious lives are marked by a growing hunger after God Himslef. They are eager for spritual realities and will not be put off with words, nor will they be content with correct 'interpretations' of truth.  They are athirst for God, and they will not be satisfied till they hae drunk deep at the Fountain of Living Water."

This is my desire.  Can you relate?

Can I be sad a moment?

I've been spending a bit of time visiting the blogs of other creative people recently and I am astounded at how many random, everyday photos people have of their families just being together.

My family just isn't quite like that.  We seem to have very few moments where people are interacting playfully.  Or at least I can't capture them on film.  Maybe that's all it is.  They are almost always at night, almost always inside in bad light.  We DO have them, but in this part of the world, you just don't spend that much time outside I guess. 

That and my kids aren't happy very often.  It makes me sad that they are happy so infrequently.  Wish I knew what to do about that.

If I had it to do over again, I'd live somewhere that was more outdoor friendly and I'd make it a point to find things to do together to have fun.  LOL, maybe I'd read someone else's blog to get an idea of what that might be.

Ok, done complaining.

They Are Engaged!!!

It is official!

I would like to announce the engagement of my daughter, Kaitlin to Mr. Jonathan O. 

Aren't they the most adorable couple you've ever seen.  Seriously, they make me so happy just to watch them love each other.  I'm a lucky mom!

The difference between respect and fear

Last night, I had a long conversation with my youngest daughter, Madison, who is a RAD sufferer.  These kinds of talks are difficult because her reasoning is very different from my own and from most other peoples.

Recently, she's been talking alot about the way gang members relate to one another.  Of course, my ears have perked up but I'm careful how I will engage in such a conversation.  However, last night, she laid it all out on the table for me.   She shared that her goal in relating to any other person is to get them to fear her.  To her, this means respect.

When someone doesn't fear her, they don't respect her.  She feels disrespected if someone feels equal to her.  She constantly feels the need to prove that she is stronger than everyone around her.  She is 5'2.  I am 5'7, her older sister is 5'10, her dad is 6'2.  This is a big, no pun intended, problem for her.  Since I've known her, when she was 7 and about 4 ft tall, she has tried to prove that she is bigger and stronger than me.  And her dad (who is the strongest guy I know, being a weight-lifter for 20 years now).

I tried to help her understand that fear and respect are two different things.  She is not interested in hearing my explanation.  Whatever I say, she says something to counter.  Doesn't seem to matter that it makes no actual sense. She won't back down.  I finally just had to end the conversation, which made me sad.  I wanted to connect with her.  We had been connecting I think, that is why she brought up the fear thing.  It made her uncomfortable and she needed to put some distance there again.

Pray that I will still be able to connect with her and show her love in a way that she can receive it. It is hard to show her love in a way she understands because she only seems able to accept it when it comes from someone who shows her that they are weaker than she is.

Maddie makes a project

Madison had a mission for this weekend. Her classmates had put together a gift giveaway, but it had to be something handmade. Being the perfectionist that she is, it could not be simple. No, it needed to be elaborate.

You should have seen the first project she had in mind! She eventually settled on a card kit that I had purchased a few years ago and set to work making it unique with stamps, ink and cut paper shapes. (I was happy that she finally got to use my Quick Kutz, which have been collecting dust for years now!)

It ended up being a project that several of us got involved in, teaching Maddie to use pigment inks to add color and dimension as well as the addition of a variety of art stamps for texture. Lots of fun. Here is her project as it progressed. I think she was happy with the final result. I know that I was, looked like eye candy to me!

I didn't get the impression that the girl who received it was as excited about it as we were, but that's okay. It ended up being inspiring to Millie and to me and Maddie got to finish something with pride!

Creme Brulee, my first

Well, I can't take full credit, maybe 55% credit, 5% for finding the recipe and buying the ingredients and the other 50% for my part in making it. Millie and I made it together and we have a fabulous time, pretending we were professional French chefs!

We made them as an experiment.....sort of. But we were able to serve them for Hunter's 15th birthday!!!! Wowza! I can't believe he's 15! Seems like just yesterday a very angry little boy came to my home, 8 years angry, I mean old. Wow, he's really come a very long way in the last 6.5 years. Truly, he has.

I am thankful that it's not too late to make a difference. I'm thankful that consequences sometimes end up resulting in more opportunity for friendship, like it has with Millie and I. She can't go anywhere, so she gets to stay home and cook with Mom. We are having a blast!

And isn't the Creme Brulee a beauty. It was sooooo yummy!